Top 10

Top 10, very best JP quotes + bonus.

#1
Nah come on… man, some straight like you giant stick up his ass all of a sudden at age what 60 he’s just going to break bad?

#2
Look, I like making cherry product, but let’s keep it real, alright? We make poison for people who don’t care. We probably have the most unpicky customers in the world.

#3
You don’t need a criminal lawyer. You need a criminal lawyer

#4
Oh well, heil Hitler, bitch. And let me tell you something else. We flipped a coin, okay? You and me. You and me! Coin flip is sacred! Your job is waiting for you in that basement, as per the coin!

#5
Like I came to you, begging to cook meth. ‘Oh, hey, nerdiest old dude I know, you wanna come cook crystal?’ Please. I’d ask my diaper-wearing granny, but her wheelchair wouldn’t fit in the RV.

#6
Look… look, you two guys are just… guys, okay? Mr. White… he’s the devil. You know, he is… he is smarter than you, he is luckier than you. Whatever… whatever you think is supposed to happen… I’m telling you, the exact reverse opposite of that is gonna happen, okay?

#7
Are we in the meth business, or the money business?

#8
What if this is like math, or algebra? And you add a plus douchebag to a minus douchebag, and you get, like, zero douchebags?

#9
I got two dudes that turned into raspberry slushie then flushed down my toilet. I can’t even take a proper dump in there. I mean, the whole damn house has got to be haunted by now.

#10
What good is being an outlaw when you have responsibilities?

#11
You got me riding shotgun to every dark anal recess of this state. It’d be nice if you clued me in a little.

#12
What happens now? I’ll tell you what happens now. Your scumbag brother-in-law is finished. Done. You understand? I will own him when this is over. Every cent he earns, every cent his wife earns is mine. Any place he goes, anywhere he turns, I’m gonna be there grabbing my share. He’ll be scrubbing toilets in Tijuana for pennies and I’ll be standing over him to get my cut. He’ll see me when he wakes up in the morning and when he crawls to sleep in whatever rat hole is left for him after I shred his house down. I will haunt his crusty ass forever until the day he sticks a gun up his mouth and pulls the trigger just to get me out of his head. That’s what happens next.

#13
Yeah, bitch! Magnets!

#14
Yo 148, 3-to-the-3-to-the-6-to-the-9. Representin’ the ABQ. What up, biatch? Leave it at the tone!